How Not To Betray Your Team

As a manager, it’s inevitable that one day you’ll be asked to do something that puts the company’s interests over your team’s.

If you genuinely care about your team, but you haven’t prepared them for this reality, you’re going to have a rough time.

How can you avoid betraying those who have consistently gone to bat for you and contributed not only to the bottom line, but also to your own professional success?

You take a deep breath and go back to first principles.

When do people feel betrayed?
- When their expectations don’t match reality.
What’s the best way to avoid betraying people?
- Eliminate the possibility altogether.

But how?

Let me illustrate through a personal anecdote.

On my first day at Apple, one of the best managers I’ve had assured me that if I ever felt like I wasn’t growing or getting what I needed, he would personally help me find a better role in a different team, even if that team happened to be outside the company!

He was genuine and I was mind-blown. 🤯

I hadn’t expected him to break the fourth wall and speak so candidly - but in doing so, in this single opening act, he masterfully:

Set the bar for transparency and demonstrated confidence in his ability to retain people
Established trust and let me know he had my back beyond what was expected
Opened the door for me to approach him if I ever felt demotivated (minimizing future headaches)
And most importantly, he reminded me that each agent in this relationship is expected to act in their own best interest (demonstrating a high level integrity)

🌱 Good managers stay grounded in the truth. They don’t drive the team on hopium fumes - a convenient but inconsistent view of reality. They acknowledge reality head on, then work extra hard to align incentives in order to move mountains.

⚠️ Bad managers lean heavily into the “we are family” narrative, conjuring a sense of one-directional loyalty which can only lead to betrayal and resentment when they carry out a company objective that is globally optimal but not in the best interest of their teams.

In short, to eliminate the possibility of betrayal:

Set expectations from day one and paint an honest picture of the environment even if it makes your job harder in the short term.
Communicate openly and regularly to avoid drift between expectations and reality
Don’t write checks you can’t cash (make promises outside of your direct control re promotions, rewards, job stability, ...)

With these principles in mind you should be able to honor your team’s trust while executing the company mission.